Articles - Loving Circles

by Tracy Neff

The Screaming Goddess

It is 1:00 in the morning and I just arrived back from a party at Jacquie and David's house - it was fun enough but I wasn't much in the party mood. I've been too sad lately. I park the van in the driveway and step out into the silent of the night. I look up at the tall trees of the forest and can see clearly.

I look up to the sky and see the silhouette's of big puffy clouds and the full moon which seemingly travels through them shining brightly when it fully escapes from behind the darkness.

I see a chair tucked into the trees in front of me, the same one I used to sit in the sun earlier in the day and I pull it out to face the moon and watch it duck in and out of puffy dark clouds. I breathe in the peace of the stillness around me. I fill myself with the quiet.

The sadness I have felt lately lingers near the surface of my heart - it swirls around reminding me, "I am here. I am here."

"I know, I feel you," I whisper back as the moon moves out from behind a cloud and I am struck by the fullness of its light. I close my eyes and breathe in the light. I let it fill me, to comfort me. I invite my sadness to rest inside the light of the moon.

I open my eyes and look up to the moon and immediately I see a face - a woman's face, the face of a Goddess - but this Goddess isn't happy. She's screaming out into the night. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is a dark 0 shaped circle. "Can you hear me?" she screams, "Are you paying attention?"

I hear her cry out into the silent night and inside my heart. The sadness I feel is about the Goddess within me and every woman. She's been coming up to talk to me lately. She has much to say.

She's lonely because no one recognizes her beauty or her strength, she's been beaten down, told she was worthless, made to live inside containers, raise children alone, cook meals and expect little in return. Her freedom has not been honoured. Her gifts not received. She's been burned at the stake five million times because her power was a threat. The insecure, ego-centered, men of the past thought if they destroyed the power of the Goddess, they would be left with it. Instead they destroyed themselves because they need the Goddess. The masculine needs the power of the feminine. Without it he is an empty shell of false power - a heartless victim of his own greed.

Without the full power of the feminine the world looks much like it does now - full of hatred, greed for money, murder, starvation, war. Sure, the men and their heads have done a lot of good for the world. We have a lot of useful technology and it is far easier to survive physically than ever before. Thank you, men, for recognizing the Goddess's need for a dishwasher. Yes, we have stuff, most of us have pretty good lifestyles but what does it matter if our hearts are lost.

Most men I see walking in the world look bored and tired. They've been told to work, work, work and in that their passion for life, their dreams and desires, their hearts get lost. They forget who they are, why they're here, what their purpose is. And they wander through life, the daily grind, doing, doing, carrying large loads on each shoulder wondering, sensing at times that this path they find themselves on isn't actually they're life - that somehow, somewhere along this journey they wandered off and got lost. And if a man has this realization and finds the courage to sit and listen to the almost inaudible calling of his lost heart, then what? What is he to do then? How does he go about changing his course in life when he has children to feed, mortgages to pay and bosses to please? How does he get out of a life that no longer seems to fit?

Step-by-Step, one after the other. Big breaths and big risks and lots and lots of faith. And Goddesses help - and there are lots of us around, waiting to be acknowledged and recognized for one of our greatest gifts - our hearts.

When the men of this world attempted to destroy the Goddess, and over the years, many women have tried as well, the idea was that they would control things and hold all the power. But, it hasn't worked and it will never work because when men don't acknowledge the power of the Goddess, they lose heart. The heart of the Goddess is contained within us all.

The masculine needs the heart of the feminine as much as the feminine needs the strength of the masculine. One does not function well without the other.

We just have to turn on the television or read the newspaper to feel the heartlessness of the world and we have lost our hearts because we have denied the power of the Goddess for too long. She's screaming to be heard - it's a desperate cry for help. She tried to save herself, through the feminist movement - the right idea but the wrong approach. We fought for recognition and acknowledgement by turning ourselves into men. We went to school, got educated, worked as engineers, geologists, doctors and lawyers - we attempted to prove our worth by living as men. "See we can do it too. We are equal. We are equal!"

We are not equal, nor were we meant to be. Men were created to be men, to give to the world their gifts of the masculine, including their strength, vision and mission in life. Women were created to be women, to offer the world the gifts of the feminine heart, to pour love into the world, to challenge men to be strong in character and also in heart, to offer a place of rest for the weary warrior.

We are unique beings each one of us and we have unique gifts to offer on another, individually and collectively.

The Goddess screams because she has not been fought for. She's been brutalized, denied her power and freedom, ignored, murdered, made to feel weak and unworthy. It's been a long time since her unique gifts and beauty have been recognized. She desires to be fought for - she desires to come forward and speak.

Women cannot do it alone, although many of the women in my circles have acknowledged their Goddess and the strength of their femininity, we need help from the men. We need men to stand beside us and fight for the power and strength of the feminine goddess. She's weary and she's tired but she is not without hope that her prince will come and battle for her, that he will stand strong, swinging his sword and slaying the dragons that have kept her prisoner.

She is waiting for acknowledgment, she is waiting for release so she may stand beside the men of this world knowing of her beauty and her power to breathe love back into the hearts of men and women.

We cannot live a full life without the full power of the Goddess and we cannot live a full life without the full power of the masculine, both are equally important. We were created to be together, not because we are the same but because we are different - let us embrace our differences, acknowledge each others strengths and gifts, breathe life and love back into one another and back into this world.

The Goddess is screaming. It's time to listen.

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